You bet your sweet ass!
Dyn-O-Mite!
Wanna bet?
Winston tastes good like a cigarette should!
Don't you forget it, either!
Book him, Dan-O!
Tastes great!
Less filling!
All that said, there must be some really, really big conspiracy going on out there. It's gotta be huge. Just huge.
Tell me that you have a better explanation.
I swear!
You people just don't get it, do you?
Or maybe you don't want to "get it". Maybe you think that if you don't "get it", then you won't "get it".
But if that's what you think, then you really don't get it.
It's getting really, really hard to stand my own greatness. Why won't everybody listen to me? I'm here. I'm superior, and I know the UltimateTruthTM!
Ignore me at your own peril.
I was ignored at the Constitutional Convention, and look at what we ended up with. The Senate. Lifetime judicial appointments.
Good thing I came up with the Electoral College.
Hell, yeah!
OK, so that hasn't always worked out so well.
But that was the real James Madison, not me. I wouldn't have fucked it up nearly as badly. I would've told the Federalists that they could have their way on everything, and then make the legalese incomprehensible, and give them nothing.
It would then have taken progressive judges to sort the whole thing out and then tell the Federalists that they were screwed.
John Adams would have had to die, though.
But that's all just so much blather. The real point is...
Hell yeah!
Hey there, Mr Regressive--how about a nice tall glass of shut the hell up?
That goes for you fake liberals, too.
You bet your bippy!
Fulmination!
The forces of darkness can't win if you keep that white phosphorous burning! Remember to use it for illumination only. No fair using it to burn people alive with.
Even Rush Limbaugh. Or members of the Grand Conspiracy.
Maybe on certain people who occupy some of the corner offices at THECorporationsTM, though. But only if they're pivotal to something, or otherwise of strategic importance.
FedEx--So easy, even a vice-president can use it!
That's right, folks!
By the way, I don't criticize other writers because I'm jealous or think that I'm better than they are. I'm not jealous at all, because I know that I'm better than they are.
I criticize them because they are wrong.
I am correct. They are incorrect.
That doesn't necessarily make me a better writer, though. It makes me correct. You can be a wonderful writer and still be wrong as hell about everything.
Hell yeah!
Now here's something to talk about, just not too loudly:
Loudmouth Kicked Off Train--Hell Yeah!
Like Anderson Cooper noted, what the hell would anyone talk about for 16 hours? Inquiring minds want to know. There must have been more than one call involved.
I tell ya, anyone who even thinks about using their cell phone in an inappropriate place, whether it's the quiet car on an Amtrak train, or a play where everyone around you paid $100 apiece not to hear you talk, should be beaten squarely about the head and neck with a car antenna.
There should also be roving security in such places authorized to smash your phone with a hammer right on the spot.
Same goes for assholes who take flash pictures in museums.
Hell yeah!
UPDATE!
Only 16 hours until Judgment Day!
Of course, that's by Mountain Daylight Time.
What time zone does Jeeziz use?
Maybe it's always Judgment Day somewhere, just like it's always 5 o'clock somewhere?
62 Foot Burning Jeeziz!
Judgment Day! Boo Yah!
Let's hear what the Governator has to say:
John Connor: You just can't go around killing people.
The Terminator: Why?
John Connor: What do you mean why? 'Cause you can't.
The Terminator: Why?
John Connor: Because you just can't, OK? Trust me on this.
Hell Yeah!
