"Knowledge will forever govern ignorance"

--James Madison--

"The real division is not between conservatives and revolutionaries, but between authoritarians and libertarians"

--George Orwell--

An Obamabot Under Every Bed

It all started innocently enough.  A good looking youngish Senatorial candidate from Illinois was selected to give the keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention.  He was black, but not in a threatening way.  People would later attribute this to the fact that he was "only half black".  An excellent public speaker, he had a certain charm that only a half black forty something man could have.  He was also accomplished academically.  Apparently the polar opposite of then-current President Dubya.


After the election, John Kerry wasn't President but Mr Obama was now Senator Obama.  Senator Barack Obama?  A guy with a funny sounding name that rhymes with "Osama", and whose middle name is Hussein?  It was too weird to be true.  I mean, really.  But it was true.  Senator Barack Hussein Obama.


Senator Obama then embarked on what would be a short and unremarkable Senate career.  He voted the same way as Hillary Clinton on every bill except for a special appropriations bill for the Iraq war.  He voted against it.  This would become a huge deal during the 2008 primaries.  Somehow, this got him branded as the "most liberal Senator" by the right wing screech monkeys.


One thing that had the screech monkeys up in arms was that there had been speculation since that night in the summer of 2004 that Mr Obama was going to run for President in 2008.  There were also rumors.  Rumors about the army of volunteers that he maintained in Illinois.  It was said that they were all robot-like in their admiration of and servitude to Obama.  They were mostly college kids, and they all started acting alike and dressing alike within a few days of volunteering for this most sinister of armies.  Within a few weeks, they also all grew to a height of exactly 7 feet.  The few who were over 7 feet tall shrank to exactly 7 feet.  Discipline was maintained in all matters.


OK, not really.  But a lot of them really did act like they were in some sort of cult.  They changed.  They not only became more politically active, but they were passionate about their candidate.


At some point, someone coined the term "Obamabot" to describe these oddly changed individuals.








There was much speculation about what these kids might be doing, as they wandered in and out of the office suites that were now starting to serve as secret campaign headquarters.   But Obama himself put all speculation to rest when Obama announced his candidacy for President.  Which I think he did like 5 minutes after the Iraq funding vote.


2008 came.  As an Edwards supporter, I was shocked when he dropped out of the race so early.  What to do? Who to support?  WTF?


I liked Hillary Clinton's stance on health care better, and thought that she was something of a proven leader.  Not anywhere in my first dozen picks or so, but you just don't get your own personal President.  Anyway, we have caucuses here in Colorado, and I thought it would be weird to be going there to support the candidate that was supposed to be the party insider favorite.  But when I got there, about 1/3 present were party stalwarts who had grown to exactly 7 feet tall.  Obamabots!


They tried to tilt the precinct towards Obama, taking multiple tallies and bullying Clinton supporters, but they couldn't deliver the precinct to Obama.  The precinct was sealed for Clinton when the two Mike Gravel supporters went for Hillary.


I didn't know it yet, but that was hardly the last I'd see or hear of the Obamabots.  They quickly infested almost every even remotely liberal blog on the internet.  They called Clinton supporters "Hillary Hags" and such, then bristled at being called Obamabots.


Eventually, the controversy died down a bit.  It became wait and see.  Wait and see if Obama or McCain will be elected.  Wait and see what happens after he's inaugurated.


Some Obamabots regaled us with tales of a great liberal messiah come to earth.  Many of us were skeptical.  It was like most of these people had never paid any attention to his campaign literature that they had been disseminating.  Obama's campaign platform, which almost nobody on either side seems to have been aware of.  Among the highlights of his "Blueprint For Change" were an increase in the number of troops in Afghanistan, a health care plan that was quite similar to what actually got passed, and Social Security "reform".  You know, to "fix" it.


Many people, not just Obamabots, were shocked that he was doing nothing more than the campaign promises that they never realized that he had made.  They thought that he was going to do what they wanted, and more by the day became disgruntled about the whole thing.


Many of us waited a while, but it became more and more obvious that he was exactly who he had always appeared to be.  Not terribly liberal at all.  But he really never did say that he was.  People had made him into what they wanted him to be.


It has come to the point that there are now, apparently, "Obamabot hunters".  Support for Obama is branded by some to be support for "fascism".


Of course, the right thinks that he's a socialist.




Obamabot hunters from both the left and right now far outnumber the Obamabots themselves.  Support for Obama is the new "red scare"--ferreting it out is the new McCarthyism.  But nobody much really likes him any more.


Still, you're stuck with him for a while longer.  You might even like the next guy less.  But don't worry, foilks.  His packs of zombie followers won't be bothering you anymore.  Do tell me, though, if you see a bunch of people who are all exactly seven feet tall.