"Knowledge will forever govern ignorance"

--James Madison--

"The real division is not between conservatives and revolutionaries, but between authoritarians and libertarians"

--George Orwell--

Man Accused of Escaping From Tennessee

I saw the above headline on my Yahoo home page. I like Yahoo. It feeds you local, national, and world news. Top stories to check out before I go rooting around through news sources during the day.

I had to put that on Smirking Chimpwire for sure. Just for the headline.

Man Accused of Escaping From Tennessee

The headline itself begs a lot of questions. Is everyone in Tennessee being held there against their will? Why is he accused of escaping from Tennessee? I mean, if he isn't there, it should be apparent.

Maybe he slipped out and then came back later.
Of course, I realized that the story was about a man who had escaped from jail in Tennessee, and was captured here in Colorado. In Fort Collins. His wife tipped off the police. They arrested her, too.

The story doesn't say what either one of them did. Parole violation for him, but, why was he on parole? An armed and dangerous career criminal.

Aren't we all?

But it wasn't the run of the mill nature of the story or the poorly written story that bummed me out. It was this:

The headline on Yahoo said that a man was accused of escaping from Tennessee. Truly a Chimpwire worthy headline.

The headline on the story it links to at CBS 4 Denver is, unfortunately, accurate.

But at least the mugshot is stereotypical:

Somebody needs to proofread the headlines at Yahoo. Somebody at CBS 4 Denver needs to learn how to write better headlines, as well as a comprehensive news story.

But there were other headlines worth checking out:

Tea Party Senators Answer "Complicated" Romney Question


You know something's up when the headline writer feels compelled to put "complicated" in quotes.Is it something really simple that the Tea Party Senators just think is complicated because they can't figure it out? Is there an implication here that the Tea Party Senators are stupid?


It referred to Romney's answer during the Republican Presidential Debate to Brian Williams' question "Are you a member of the Tea Party"?

Y'know, that sounds an awful lot like "Are you a member of the Communist Party?" Are Teabaggers the new commies? Are the Republican Presidential Debates the new McCarthy hearings?

If only.

See, now, I would've just said that there is no damn Tea Party and I'm running for the Republican nomination. Next question?
But no, Romney has to try to cover his ass by making it "complicated":

"I believe in a lot of what the tea party believes in. The tea party believes that government's too big, taxing too much, and that we ought to get to the work of getting Americans to work."

So, what, making the government smaller is going to create jobs? How does that work, Mitt?

"So I put together a plan with a whole series of points of how we can get America's economy going again. Tea party people like that. So if the tea party is for keeping government small and spending down, and helping us create jobs, then, hey, I'm for the tea party."

Translation: "I think they're a bunch of clowns, but I need their votes."
But, as indicated by the headline, the Tea Party Senators thought that it was pretty complicated, too. Rand Paul:
"That's not a simple question"

Yeah, nothing in this world is that simple, is 
it? Or is it?
Utah Senator Mike Lee:

"The principles of the tea party are incredibly simple It's all about the fact that the federal government is too big and too expensive, and anyone who supports that proposition can barely align themselves in one way or another with the tea party"

Wait. Did he just say that anyone who supports the Tea Party principles (which sound awfully close to anarchy sometimes) can barely align themselves with the Tea Party? What? Are there like Super Teabaggers who get to align themselves closer than just regular rank and file teabaggers?

Maybe it really is complicated.

The other headline that caught my eye was a link to our local weekly Westword:

Exploring The Kinky side of Denver


Been there, done that. Do it more now and then. But it's a decent article for those of you who want to explore Denver's kinky side, but didn't know where to start. Read the article, and then maybe you'll know. I'll never tell you.

But if you do come to Denver to explore our kinky side, be sure to look me up.

Be on the lookout for people who have escaped from Tennessee.


I have been searching for more info about our Tennessee escapees. It didn't say whether the woman had also escaped from Tennessee. I guess that she must have been one, too and that's why they arrested her.
If that were to turn out to be the case, then it might not be too harsh to describe her as a "dumbshit".
At any rate, the latest versions of the story have even fewer details. AP is subjecting the story to a slow death.

I did, however, run across a very detailed account of the recent robbery attempt of a gas station by the "Gumby Bandit" in San Diego:

Police Seek Clumsy ‘Gumby’ Bandit


The reason that the Police are seeking him is to tell him what a dumbass he is. They're not even 100% sure that it was a robbery attempt. It's really difficult to do much of anything in a Gumby costume. He should have picked a costume that was easier to move around in. Maybe the Lone Ranger or Superman.