Nuclear Proliferation Done Right

First posted at The Smirking Chimp, October 2, 2009.


I've sharpened my policy proposal in regards to nuclear weapon proliferation.
As some of you know, I've long been an advocate of the "nukes for everybody" policy. Since no nuclear armed nation has ever attacked another nuclear armed nation, then the obvious solution for world peace is for every country on earth to have at least one or two thermonuclear warheads.
I proposed that every nation be given two nuclear warheads, but with no delivery system. That detail would be left up to each individual nation. The US would easily be able to supply the warheads.
I realize now that my original proposal was inadequate and ineffective, though.

To simply give everybody a couple of "dial a nuke" 50-100 megaton warheads is woefully inadequate. All nations should, instead, be equipped with enough nuclear firepower, both warheads and delivery systems, to take out anybody else's shit. Not enough to destroy the world or anything, but enough to bring down Russia, China, the US or even France.
This would require each country to have at least a dozen nuclear tipped ICBMs. The good ones, too. Not like those Chinese liquid fueled kind. No. The really good solid fuel, suborbital type. The kind that we have. Minuteman III's.
I know what you're saying--"But the Minuteman III only has a range of 8100 miles. That's just not enough range if Chile wants to take out Moscow".
Very true. But it's the best we can do. As I always say, never let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
On the other hand, this could usher in a new era of international cooperation. Perhaps Chile could make an agreement with, say, Turkmenistan where Turkmenistan would agree to nuke Russia on Chile's behalf if Chile agreed to nuke the US on Turkmenistan's behalf. Think of all of the new treaties! Reach out and touch someone.
Then you may object--"But JMadison, we only have 450 Minuteman III's, and, dammit, we need them for our own defense. Besides, your proposal would require over 2000 of them".
Relax. I'm not advocating giving away any of our stash. We just need to order up about 3000 of them from Boeing. At only $7 million each, they're a relative bargain. For less than $25 billion, we can bring everlasting peace to the entire world. Plus, think of the new jobs that would be created. No outsourcing allowed!
We also probably don't actually have 3000 of the really cool "dial a nuke" thermonuclear warheads, either. That means that it's time to fire up Rocky Flats again.
True, the Denver area doesn't need the new jobs as bad as, say, Detroit, but do you really want to put a nuke factory that close to Canada? The very thought sends chills down my spine. The greedy Canadians, with their eye on world domination, just might decide that a dozen nuclear warheads just ain't enough. Hell, France has over 100.
Besides, the wildlife reserve that they turned Rocky Flats into is really just a big dump overrun by seagulls, anyway.
You may even object--"But you're proposing giving nuclear weapons to nutjobs like Ghadaffi and Mugabe and Queen Beatrix!".
Well, that's true, but it's the only way to make it work. You know what they say about eggs and omelets. The world will never be safe unless both Qatar and the Cayman Islands can each take out LA or Beijing.
Nukes for peace!