Conservative Terror

First posted at The Smirking Chimp, January 27, 2009. How quaint to remember when the President had actually promised to close Gitmo, which is apparently still in business.

I've been wanting to write this for a while, but I keep forgetting or putting it on the back burner. But Obama's announcement that Guantanamo will be closing has brought all of the rhetoric to a head once again.
Republicans and al-Qaeda (also known as "wingnuts" and "tairists") are on the same side, and have the same goals. They've also accomplished a lot.
"Terrorism" is a tactic that has the goal (as the name implies) of scaring people. Scaring them into acquiescence.
Conservatism depends on the same thing. People generally won't vote for conservative policies, and against their own interests, unless they are scared.

Scared of "terrorists" blowing up popcorn factories located in the middle of nowhere. Scared of "librul Democrats" who want to take all of your money and give it to illegal aliens. Scared of anything that conservatives oppose.
Afraid of their own damn shadows.
Unfortunately, it works. The more conservative and brain dead the person, the closer they are to shitting their pants on a regular basis.
Now, they're afraid that closing Gitmo, and actually charging and trying those prisoners in our regular justice system will result in al-Qaeda cells being founded in your local county jail.
I kid you not. I've even run across a post from some wingnut conspiracy theorist asserting that Jose Padilla convinced Tim McVeigh to blow up the OKC Federal business when they were both in prison together. Never mind the fact that, not only were they never incarcerated in the same place, but McVeigh was actually executed before Padilla was even arrested.
It's pretty pervasive, too. The following comments do not come from Free Republic or Little Green Footballs. They come from the CBS message boards, which usually attract a fairly balanced mix of conservative and liberal posters:

Terrorist simply laugh at us when they read this kind of ***. OBL said he would use our OWN LAWS against us. This is exactly what he means.
While terrorists are in caves writing about destroying our places of "immorality and sin", and in those same caves they have videos and pictures of Disney land, liberals think they are actually planning a vacation.
It amazes how much people have forgotten about what was found in those caves.
Posted by lilvinnyb

That's right, folks! al-Qaeda is currently planning to blow up an amusement park near you. FOX News says so!

I''m saying to George W., Thanks! You made a smart decision using Guantanomo. Keep using it.
Let the world know we won''t put up with creeps trying to kill us and if it takes waterboarding, pulling their fingernails or teeth out to find out what we need to know, do so. They have the option not to threaten us in the first place.
To those whining about the care of those held in containment there, you can come visit and have your own beach front cell. Don''t mess with us in the first place!
Posted by Windbreaker5

Got that? If you think that prisoners should receive fair trials and all that, then you're obviously a terrorist who needs to be locked up!
Or, even worse, you and the entire frikkin' country could fall victim to this nefarious plan:

Step 1: Stop coercive interrogation
Step2: Withdraw all US forces from overseas
Step 3: Disarm
Step 4: Adopt Sharia law
Step 5: Accept enslavement from abroad
Step 6: Be executed for objecting to steps 4 and 5

Posted by ausus

Of course, folks, you must be aware that Obama is secretly a Muslim terrorist who will facilitate all of the above!
I'm glad I'm a liberal. I'm glad I'm a Democrat. I would hate to have to live a life of fear.
I will never let the terrorists/Republicans win!
---Update---
I just had to share this one with you:

As soon as BHO captures some terrorist that has knowledge of an attack within the USA, he will do whatever he needs to do to get the info. After that, then all you limo liberal lovers will see the light and just maybe you all need to take one of these Gitmo people home and show them some of your liberal love. You will find your whole family killed and slaughtered like a chicken.
They think nothing of killing everyone and everyone they can. I suggest you go to Gitmo and guard them for a month. Better yet, let them be workers at the White House and you can all show them some love there.
Posted by platteman

An exquisite blend of semi-literate sheep-like terror and hatred, all aimed at those goddamned "limo liberal lovers". All of you limo liberal lovers should be ashamed of yourselves for so offending platteman's delicate sensibilities!